Louder than Hunger by John Schu

What does it feel like to eat without worry? 

Without a voice constantly 

quacking and crying 

inside your head? 

A voice 

pound, pound, pounding

yell, yell, yelling

ALL DAY.

Foreword: What if someone was brave enough to tell you the truth? What if someone dared to reveal their heart to you? The book that you hold in your hands tells a painful truth. It reveals a beautiful, broken heart. Jake’s heart. Jake is thirteen years old, and he has an eating disorder. You and Jake are about to go on a harrowing journey together; by the time you finish this book, you will be friends. Reading Jake’s story will change you. You might find that you want to reveal your heart, tell someone your truth. Telling your story can save your life. It may save someone else’s life, too. Jake knows this. John Schu knows this. That is why he wrote this book. For you. —Kate DiCamillo

Jake is thirteen. He has a voice in his head that is truly awful and it is voice that controls his actions and thought and he cannot seem to 'turn it off' or ignore it. The voice tells him he is ugly and fat and so he stops eating. He wears really baggy clothes to disguise his body and he weighs himself compulsively.

Grandma: You’re too thin. I worry. I see it even when you’re always wearing those baggy sweaters over your overalls. I don’t think you’re eating enough. You’re a growing boy. 

Me: I eat enough. I promise.

Elementary school was good, high school is torture. Jake takes some comfort though, from musicals. Louder than hunger is an autobiographical story. I used to follow John Schu when he was an ambassador for Scholastic and every time he visited a different city he would talk about the musicals he had attended - often seeing the same show many many times. This used to make me smile but now I know why. Visiting his grandmother is also a comfort. They both love musicals and the same television shows. Finally a former teacher who he visits in the nursing home where he goes as a volunteer alerts his mum that Jake is ill and after a visit to the doctor he goes into a mental health facility for adolescents. In The Pines he meet Kella

I love the way John Schu weaves into his story so many fantastic children's books (of course I would have expected him to do this!) such as Sarah, Plain and Tall; Shiloh; The Giver; Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry; and Where the Sidewalk ends. Jake also quotes poems by Emily Dickinson - I recently talked about this picture book for an IBBY Australia presentation:

Some reviewers list this book for readers aged as young as 12 but this book is so raw and distressing, I think it better suits mature readers aged 15+. The scene where Jake is fitted with a feeding tube is absolutely harrowing. My own connection to this story comes from around 1975 when I visited a mental health facility like the one in this book and I saw teens not much younger than me who were suffering like Jake - that moment had a profound impact on me. 

Written in a combination of non-rhyming poetry and prose, this elegant and unique verse-novel is propulsive and compelling. ... This visceral and raw memoir type book instantly draws the reader in and spits us out at the other end – in the best possible way. Kids' Book Review

Here is a podcast (one hour) where you can hear John Talking about his book.  You can read an extract on the Candlewick publisher page. 

John Schu (Schumacher) has made a career out of advocating for the people and things he cares about most: kids, books, and the people that connect them. He was named a Library Journal Mover and Shaker for his dynamic interactions with students and his passionate adoption of new technologies as a means of connecting authors, illustrators, books, and readers. He is the children’s librarian for Bookelicious, a part-time lecturer at Rutgers University, and shares his love of reading with countless educators and students around the world. He served as the Ambassador of School Libraries for Scholastic Book Fairs for almost 6 years.

You know that I am not a fan of endorsements but so many very famous authors have said such profound (and true) things about this book:

“Louder Than Hunger is a powerful and important book, giving readers entry into the world of a sensitive teen struggling physically and emotionally with crippling anxiety and anorexia. Through his free verse voice, we accompany Jake into his honest, raw, vulnerable world. I think readers of all ages will empathize with him, worry for him, and root for his journey to understanding, recovery, hope, and joy. Those who know the author, John Schu, and have witnessed his boundless enthusiasm and legendary passion for reading and the transformative power of story will connect on an even deeper level upon learning that Jake’s story parallels John Schu’s own. From troubled teen to author and speaker surging with compassion and joy and willing to share it all with the world—that is John Schu.”   —Newbery Medalist Sharon Creech

I read Louder than Hunger on my Kindle but I wanted to show you the way the verse in this novel is set out - it is so sparce and so very powerful. Louder than hunger has over 500 pages but you can see from this example that you can fly through this book and you do fly through because if you are like me you just wanted Jake to feel well again and for that dread anorexia voice to at least quieten down if not completely turn off:

This is not quite the final page but I hope reading these words from Jake will help you see that he will be okay:

I say to Dr. Parker, Thank you for “forcing” me to share complicated, hard-to-think-about thoughts. You helped me see anorexia nervosa isn’t really about food.