"I'm really sorry,' I say simply, because there's no time to explain the parameters, the dips, and contours, of my life ... Even being in the middle of it makes no sense to me - how the rules keep changing and expanding as I grow, but never in my favour."
"To live is to risk everything."
Wen is the only daughter of Chinese immigrants. Her father is a skilled doctor but his qualifications are not recognised here and so he is forced, much to his shame and anger, to work in a Chinese restaurant. Dad, Mr Zhou, has traditional and authoritarian views about family life and he has very fixed expectations of his wife and child. He quotes from Confucius as a way to justify his extreme control over them but all of the advice is aimed at becoming a good man and Wen is a girl.
She watches the suffering of her mother. Money is tight but her father expects her mother to produce lavish meals especially each Tuesday night which is his night off from the restaurant. She has to make 8 dishes, not seven, because seven is an unlucky number. Wen watches as her mother repairs her clothes over and over again and she comes to see that clothing, for her mother, is a bit like armour.
Wen cannot talk to her parents. They have high expectations for her and so she takes extra music lessons, has maths tutoring and attends Chinese language classes. In spite of all of this, though, her father does not acknowledge that Wen is a bright student.
Luckily her teacher, the wonderful Miss Spencer, does. She is certain Wen and her best friend Henry Xiao have a very good chance of winning a place in a prestigious school. Life is very hard for Wen's Henry. His family are poor and his mother is suffering from severe depression. Then the unthinkable happens and Fay Xiao takes her own life.
The publisher has listed this book for ages 10+ but I think this is too low. I would say this book is for very mature readers aged 11+. I am also listing it as a Young Adult title. I am going to predict that this book will be a 2022 CBCA Notable title and I am also certain, even though it is early in the year, that this book will be short-listed.
This book is breathtaking. It is so honest and raw. I started reading late last night and finished it off in one sitting this morning. There are heavy themes in this book - abuse, control, suicide but there is also a lightness to the writing and the promise that things will change and the family will take steps towards their own healing. I especially loved the open ending and the quiet wisdom of Wen herself. Readers are left to imagine what happens next for Wen and Henry knowing all will be well.
Don't read this book when you are hungry - Mrs Zhou prepares the most delicious meals - your mouth will be watering. You will also love the generosity when she prepares food for Mr Xiao and Henry:
"In the bottom tier of the carrier is the rich broth mum has made from the qǒu qǐ or goji berries, lotus root, carrots, mushrooms, dried longan, dried scallops and fresh chicken. She even added a handful of dried white fungus for nourishment and for clearing lungs ... In the second tier is the boneless chicken meat she shredded for them, together with other ingredients. And in the top tier are the glistening white noodles, or lā miàn, that Mum boiled for less than two minutes, so they won't be too soft to eat when the hot broth is added to them."
Read more about Rebecca Lim and her desire to see herself in children's books in this recent article from the Sydney Morning Herald. I previously talked about another book by Rebecca - book one from the Children of the Dragon series.
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