Phyllis and Grace by Nigel Gray illustrated by Bethan Welby

"Grace's mum baked a cake. She asked Grace to take a slice to Phyllis. Phyllis lived next door."

Love Reading4Kids: Grace is a little girl; Phyllis is the old lady next door. Phyllis lives alone and her memory is fading, but that doesn't stop Grace from liking her. They find that, despite the gap in their ages, they have much in common and a moving and enduring friendship is born. This is a deeply touching story for all the family of how a little girl befriends her elderly neighbour who has dementia ...

Nigel Gray gives readers heartbreaking insights into Phyllis and her memory loss/dementia:

"Phyllis poured milk from a carton into the kettle. The milk smelt sour. Phyllis came and sat down at the table again without switching on the kettle."

"Finally, she found the slice of cake that Grace's mother had made. It was furry with mould."

"She rolled up the painting and put it in the fridge."

Strengths of this story:

• Nigel Gray does not shy away from a focus on a complex issue - dementia and also neglect (do her family ever visit - we know the house needs repairs)
• Grace is a beautiful child who is so very, very patient with Phyllis
• The story is an important portrait of kindness in action
• Gentle appealing illustrations
• A sweet ending but not one that unnecessarily tries to solve the main issue of memory loss and dementia

Things that could cause concern:

• Grace's parents do not seem to notice that Phyllis needs more help not just an occasional piece of cake or a small container of food
• Do the parents ask Grace about her visit to Phyllis - surely this young child is puzzled by the questions Phyllis asks over and over again especially about her children, husband and even her own name?
• Grace's dad comes over and repairs the broken electrical fuse but the page turn is a little abrupt - clearly Phyllis is so confused about this strange man in her house
• What does Phyllis eat? Is someone actually caring for her on a regular basis? 
• Is this story too distressing for a very young child? Or am I just adding a layer of my own adult sensibilities. We watch Phyllis decline even further over the course of the story but I guess it is good that mostly her mood is portrayed as fairly happy. 
• Reading this book could lead to difficult questions - I know these are important but that is why you need to consider the age of the child - where is her husband? Where are the children? Are they really upstairs? Why is Phyllis doing all these strange things?

This is a book you could share with one child (not a class). It does have a lot of text but more importantly you need to leave lots of room for questions. I would say this book is suitable for ages 7+ but most reviewers seem to say 3 or 4+.

Basing the story on the experience of his own granddaughter and her neighbour, author Nigel Gray’s story is told with great sensitivity and equally sensitively illustrated in Bethan Welby’s gentle watercolour scenes. Together words and pictures beautifully document the progression of dementia and how it might appear, from a young child’s viewpoint. A book for adults and children to share and discuss as gently as it’s presented by its creators. Red Reading Hub

I love this book for its gentleness, its compassionate view of the world, so much an expression of its author. What I also like so much is the respect the author shows for his readers, never lecturing or hectoring, never stating categorically what we must think, but assuming that his thoughts on the subject will be gleaned from the story itself. Living arts Canberra

I mentioned Phyllis and Grace when I talked about the 2023 White Ravens titles. 

Companion books:

Newspaper Hats

The author Nigel Gray is interesting - he was born in the UK and now lives in Western Australia but taking a look at his book list so many of his titles have UK illustrators and UK publishers. Here is an audio interview with Living Arts Canberra. Here is a sixteen minute video of the author reading his book. 

I arrived in Western Australia in 1988 (more than twenty-five years later than I’d intended) having migrated with my wife and my sons Sam and Jo, under the special category of artists and sports people of international reputation, and we have been Australian citizens since 1990.

When my friend from Kinderbookswitheverything asked if we were sent any books by Nigel Gray for CBCA (Children's Book Council of Australia) judging I was puzzled because I didn't think he was Australian.

Look at this list of illustrators:

• Jane Ray
• Philippe Dupasquier
• Michael Foreman
• Helen Craig

Bethan Welby who illustrated Phyllis and Grace lives in Devon, UK.

But then we have BIG Australian names such as:

• Bob Graham
• Elise Hurst
• Craig Smith
• Gregory Rogers
• Andrew McLean
• Anna Pignatoro