I need to try and be happier—but I don’t know how
When they told her that her mother had finally died, Birdy lay on the floor of the McGraths’ apartment (they had been next-door neighbors for Birdy’s whole life), sirens wailing outside, and thought the world would stop, but it hadn’t. After a while, she heard noise on the street below: people shouting, taxis honking. The world kept spinning. When the McGraths brought home chocolate ice cream that night, it tasted good, which was surprising. Life moved forward.
Birdy (her real name is May) and her brother Mouse (his real name is Michael) are sent to live with distant, elderly relatives named Mitzie and Shadow. Birdy is told this is temporary until a foster family can be found. She is told she will be able to stay with her precious brother - they won't be separated. But are these things true. What if Birdy and Mouse are separated? What if these strangers don't like her?
The urgent thing was to stay together. The only thing they carried with them of any value now was one another.
She thought of saying a lot of things, like thank you for taking us and thanks for keeping us together and thank you for coming all the way to New York City even with your husband in the hospital, and for not asking a lot of questions, but Birdy hated saying thank you all the time. It made her feel needy, which she guessed she was. “Okay,” she said again, to fill the quiet of her missing thank-yous.
Birdy wondered why Mitzie and Shadow wanted them. She had thought maybe they were broke and wanted kids there to do chores. Why else would two old people take kids into their house? It didn’t seem like that, though—they didn’t seem broke.
Birdy is on high alert. She has been ever since her mum became ill. Taking care of Mouse is her responsibility. In a way Birdie has never had the chance to be a child - to play, to laugh, to make friends or to have fun.
She tried not to think about her mom dying all alone in the hospital without the two of them there, coughing a lot probably, no one to hold her hand. The painful thoughts spooled out from Birdy like she was a ball of misery twine. She didn’t want to think about how much she missed her mother, or how mad she was at her for dying, or for being so sad, or for leaving Birdy in charge all the time. She was mad at her mother for having to work so much, and for being impatient.
As is often the way with stories like this there are so many heart-wrenching misunderstandings. These of course give this story so much tension that you will just keep turning pages desperate for that all important, happy ending.
One of the most beautiful (and teary moments) in this story comes when Birdy visits the charity shop. She is looking for new clothes but we know she also loves to read. One of the staff offers her The Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt but Birdy says no (inside my heart I was telling Birdie to say yes).
“We just got a whole set of the Tillerman Cycle books.” When Birdy didn’t say anything, he said, “They’re old I guess, but my sister loved them. With this kid named Dicey who runs away from home with her brothers and sisters.” That sounded interesting, but Birdy tried to act like she wasn’t listening. ... “I can give you a deal if you want the set.” Birdy waved her hand and hunched over and walked as fast as she could to the register, carrying her clothes in her arms. She didn’t have seven dollars to buy all those books. Forget it. Go away, she thought. GO AWAY. ... “Hey,” he said to Birdy. “We have to make room for new books just coming in, and if you want these you can have the whole set for a dollar.” His voice trailed off. “If you want.” He waited. “I checked with my boss and she said it was fine. A dollar for all seven.”
I guarantee you will fall in love with the characters in this story and with the kindness offered by Mitzie, Shadow and most of all by the new uncle the kids meet - a guy named Clay. Then there is teenage camp counsellor named Bruce - I just wanted to hug him for his kindness, sensitivity and emotional intelligence.
He was really looking at them, like they were the only people in the world and he was seriously interested in them. He looked at them like he had all the time in the world, like there was nothing better on earth to do than to spend time right there with them in the driveway. So, this was her mother’s brother.
I added this book to my Kindle because Colby Sharp highly recommended it and BOY oh boy he was right. N West Moss is actually Nanette West Moss and this is not her first book but it is her first Middle Grade book.
There's something oddly comforting about this story. Maybe I just want to hang out with Mitzi while she bakes in the kitchen. Ms Yingling
Bookseller blurb: Eleven-year-old Birdy and her younger brother, Mouse, have always looked out for each other. They make the perfect team: Birdy is realistic and practical, while Mouse is affable and trusting. After their mother dies of cancer, Birdy and Mouse are forced to move out of the city to the country with relatives they've never met. Aunt Mitzie and Uncle Shadow's house is full of organized chaos, and it takes Birdy time to adjust to having adults around. But the kitchen is always stocked, and both kids are allowed to play outside as often as they want. There's only one problem: it's all temporary. Their social worker has promised to find them a permanent home by the next school year, whether they want to leave or not. As the summer unfolds, Mouse starts to feel attached to their new life. But Birdy knows better-adults have never been reliable. When Birdy's fears get the best of her, she makes a big mistake that could jeopardize their future.
Here are two more beautiful quotes:
It was peaceful, like they were healing up after a long illness or something. A thought was forming in the back of Birdy’s mind (one she wouldn’t understand completely until later) that maybe sitting with your brother, or whoever loves you most in the world, is how a person grieves. Piling little rocks and leaves and feathers on top of one another can make you start to feel like your chest isn’t collapsing. While she was looking for stuff to pile on top of other stuff, she had a sense of what “better” might feel like and how to steer toward it.
It was a sudden feeling that inflated something in her, like drinking too much soda in one gulp. She didn’t want to like him. She knew that hope was a dangerous thing that could make you feel especially good and then when the truth of things came out, however high up your hope had taken you was how far down you would fall.
Companion books:
